I think I may understand why I feel so uncomfortable with happiness.
When I was a little boy, I was constantly sad. My first suicide attempt was at the age of 10. I just hated my life.
So I've been musing over my childhood and I think that, it just may have pleased my parents to see me down. I mean, why else would they do what they did unless my despair was pleasing to them.
So maybe I brought that into my adult life. Is being depressed my distorted way of pleasing others.
I don't know.
When I was a little boy, I was constantly sad. My first suicide attempt was at the age of 10. I just hated my life.
So I've been musing over my childhood and I think that, it just may have pleased my parents to see me down. I mean, why else would they do what they did unless my despair was pleasing to them.
So maybe I brought that into my adult life. Is being depressed my distorted way of pleasing others.
I don't know.
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