Wanting to be liked sometimes hurts.

Its 1 a.m. and yet still so hot out. I’ve been walking the streets for the last hour however my destination remains out of sight. I’m on my way to Leann’s house, who, by the way, is a girl in my Biology class. Up until a week ago, it’s been an ongoing introduction between her and I. We’ve talked a lot on the phone and I think she really likes me.
Of course I haven’t told her that I am only 16 and traveled around town courtesy of the Red Line. What she does know is that I’m 19 and have recently moved here from California. After receiving my nursing degree, I’m going to give med school a try. If my dad could do it, than so can I.
She agrees.
So, I’ve snuck out of my foster home and am on my way to see her. In retrospect, I probably should have just been honest with her and I wouldn’t be risking going back to jail but damn, she makes me feel so good.
My feet pound on.
Thoughts are interrupted by voices up ahead. There’s a group of girls dressed in scantiness, dragging on cigarettes. My new found confidence reaches only to those who think they know me so I stare at the concrete as I pass them.
“Heey now!” rumbles a deep voice from the group.
I keep walking and that’s when I realize that those aren’t girls. My pace quickens. The quiet has returned and I can hear the click from the traffic light as it turns from green to yellow and then to red. I also hear the sound of a car rolling up behind me and if it’s a cop, well I hope Leann likes to write because I’m going back to jail. Turning to see if my fears ring true, a little blue car pulls up beside me.
“Hey bro” says the Hispanic from the driver’s seat. “ I just wanted to warn ya that those aint girls back there.”
“Thanks” is the only response that comes to mind. The light turns green and he flashes me a smile as the little blue car drives away. That was pretty “cool” of him to give me a heads up but the reality is that I don’t have enough money for a soda let alone a piece of ass.
I keep walking.
My mind wonders back to Leann but no sooner than I can continue where I left off, the little blue car returns to my side.
“Hey you need a ride?” It is hot out and I do need to get off the streets and besides his smile seems so “real”. Plus he looked out for me with the girlymans. “Yeah that would be cool.”
This has to be the dirtiest car I have ever been in. Trash and just…stuff, everywhere.
“I’m Juan” he states as he gives me a fist to pound. “Hey I’m D”.
“Sup D where ya goin?”
“To a friends on 71st.”
“Ok yeah that’s cool. Do you mind if we make a quick stop at my house?”
“Naw that’s cool”
Even though it’s so hot out, the warm air rushing into the window feels strangely good. My feet battle with empty water bottles and I begin to get the strange feeling that we are driving in circles. I remain quiet out of…fear? A few more turns and we pull up to a red brick house, one of many that are crammed together up and down this dark street.
“Hey Juan can I use your bathroom?”
“Sure.”
He unlocks the front door and I step in after him and that’s when I see the television lit up with silent gay porn. The door shuts.
The lock clicks.
Everything goes black.
After three days in the hospital the doctors gave their ok and I was released back in to the care of the Kelly’s. I think they felt sorry for me. Mr. Kelly pressed me every day. “It would help you to talk about what happened, you know.” I didn’t know how to feel about what happened. Anger, embarrassment and disgust all blocked me from dealing with what truly happened to me. It was so much easier to tell everyone that I couldn’t remember.
After I returned to my foster home I changed inside. Having people around me, especially touching me was unbearable so I stayed to myself as much as possible. I dropped out of college and sunk back into that little boy whom I thought had died so long ago. But he was back and it looked as if he was here to stay.